To get here you have to scud across the border by boat and deal with a crazy man in a hut filling out peculiar forms – all very Heart of Darkness. That’s the price you pay for the remoteness, the middle of nowhereness. It’s weirdly like the Caribbean, with a great whiplash of blond sand, bright blue water and nothing to do but drink lemongrass tea and read. This is truly off the beaten track, with melting-butterball sunsets and hammocks tied from tree to tree. Suppers are served all over the place – your own private beach, a little wooden balcony. And then, terribly early, it’s shutdown, and there’s lots of hilarious shuffling back to your hut, with its stone bath, outside sofa and mosquito-netted bed, with nothing but a torch. Wild and woolly, it’s a place to hunker down. Just watch out for the naughty monkeys.